Mark's Blog

If you ever decide to work on a cruise ship, here are some common words and expressions you’ll hear from the staff and crew.

Kaput- finished, broke, done. Word used quite often on the ship.

No rice, no power- expression used by many Asians to describe why they eat so much rice.

Don’t worry you will see- expression used to describe something to a newbie.
Piesano- person of same nationality.

Aft- back of ship.
Forward- front of ship.
Starboard- right side of ship as you face the forward.
Port- left side of the ship as you face the forward.

Lido- main outside area for guest where buffet is located.

I-95- main crew corridor or documentation that non-us citizens must carry when going in U.S. ports.

Marshaling Area- location where luggage and supplies are temporary stored.

Open Deck-normally refers to the outside area where crew go to smoke, normally toward the front of the ship.

Gangway- normally where guest and crew get off the ship during ports.
MSA- Administrative office for staff and crew.
Crew bar- place where crew hang out to get drunk.
CTC- Crew Training Center

Bomboclat- Jamaican word used for insulting someone.
Ag shame man- South African slang.
Comida- Spanish word for eat.
Siesta- Spanish word for sleep.
Taka taka- to talk a lot.

Mafia- refers to a group of people from same background who help each other out on ship.

List- when the ship leans from side to side

Purser- aka guest services. These are the staff that work the front desk who deal with guest related issues.

Cones- derogatory remark referring to the guest on the ship.
Conning- to have sex with one of the guest.

Nothing finer than a Steiner- humorous expression used to describe the girls that work in the spa. (the girls at the spa hate this expression)

WOFT- waste of fucking time. usually refers to a cheap guest.

Sign-off- the date when staff or crew are signing off the ship.
Vacation- period between contracts when crew go back to their home country.

Ship life- common expression used to describe life on the ship.
Same Shit different Ship
Ya man- greeting used by many crew members.

What’s your next ship?
Did you get go out today?
You going out tomorrow?

If you don’t like, go home- often said to another crew member when they are complaining about life on ship.

Muster station- location where all the crew and guest meet during a general emergency.

Boat drill- usually a safety briefing that takes place right before the ship sets sail on the 1st day. All guest and crew meet at their muster station and are told what to do in the event of an emergency.

Tender- is a small boat, used to service a cruise ship, generally by transporting people and/or supplies to and from shore or another ship. This service is normally used when the cruise ship is to large to dock into port.

Port manning- usually when a crew member is required to stay on ship for the whole cruise to assist guest in an event of an emergency.

Embarkation- 1st day of cruise when passengers board the ship.
Debarkation- last day of cruise when passengers get off the ship.

The other day, I went to watch the film Up In the Air. It was a very thought-provoking movie I must say. George Clooney does an awesome job as a corporate croney who’s job it is to go around to different companies to fire people. One part of the film I had a good little chuckle. Clooney’s character and his sidekick are on a shuttle as it drives past a pier in downtown Miami. And in the background you could see the Carnival Cruise ship I used to work on. As soon as I saw the funnel of the ship I couldn’t believe it. Here I am back home from six months of ship life and that’s the last thing I want to think about. Well low and behold I am given a friendly reminder. Is someone playing a mean trick on me? Is there some invisible force out there that’s trying to torture me? Or was it just pure coincidence? Something to think about.

I chose this title after one of my favorite movies, “Once Upon A Time In The West.” Similar to what I was feeling, Clint’s Eastwood and Peter Fonda’s character must confront the emerging new world that they are living in. They are dieing figures of the past coming face to face with the changing future. Yes I was an old cowboy who had over welcomed his stay and it was time for me to depart this world I no longer knew. What makes living on a cruise ship ideal for a writer? Working on a cruise ship has been like a metaphor for life. You have a beginning and an end. The first day of your contract you are excited and full of life, however by the end of your contract you feel weary and ready to get the hell out of there. Out with the old and in with the new. Since a cruise ship is a very small city, anything that happens you experience it first hand. One month before the end of my contract everyone I knew on the ship had left. Soon after a whole new flock of people moved in and changed the whole atmosphere of the ship. I felt like an old dog surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves eager to explore their new environment. From that point on, I realized I was an outcast once again on a ship of people I hardly knew and had no interest in knowing seeing that I would be leaving very soon. It felt like something had died in me. My spirit had dwindled down to a small flickering flame. But I came to accept ship life for what it was. I knew from that point on that it was time for me to leave. I had overstayed my welcome. All of my friends were gone. The few people I did know were now entertained by the new people who came on the ship. Like everything in life, there’s a beginning and an end, a sunrise and a sunset. For me the sun had set into the horizon. And now as I fall to sleep into the quite night, my only wish is that tomorrow will be a good day for when I wake up I will embark on a new life.

After six months aboard a cruise ship it was time for me to go home. To bad life can be an unpredictable mess. I woke up around 830am that morning still a little hungover (by the way thank you to the Steiner girls who came out last night to say goodbye) from the night before. I call my other Romanian coworker and tell her I want to say goodbye. “Goodbye for what,” she says. She didn’t know what I was talking about. Apparently no one told her I would be leaving today. So I wait around the gangway till she comes down. I see the new crew members coming on board and think to myself that was me about four months ago.

I was happy and sad at the same time. It’s hard to leave a place you called home for four months. But at the same time I knew there was nothing left for me on the ship. It was time for me to go home. The whole experience felt like one big dream. There were things I wish could have went differently but I guess that’s how life is sometimes. You can’t always have things the way you want them to turn out.

I waited in the crew mess with my old cabin mate for another hour before we were escorted off the ship into customs. This was it, I was about to get my freedom from the Freedom. Once we made it through customs we all headed to the bus that would take us to the airport. Along the way I ran into one of the girls at the spa that I had met the night before. She seemed like a cool person to get know, but that’s how it is sometimes. People come and go in life. You may run into them in the future or you may never see them again for the rest of your life. Nothing is permanent. You have to make the most of the moment that you’re in because once its over its over. You only have your memories to reflect back upon.

As I get into the bus I chat with my old cabin mate and think back to the adventure I had gotten myself into. Five minutes later it was time to get off the bus and head into the airport. From that point on, this is where everything started to happen. I go inside the terminal to get my ticket and there’s this long ass line. Screw that, I don’t want to wait in that line. I go back outside and bring my bag at the curb side check-in. “That’s going to be twenty dollars, plus an additional fifty dollars for being ten pounds overweight,” the guy at the counter said. “Are you out of your fucking mind, are you serious”? I said. He says, “Well if you get it down to fifty-four pounds I’ll waive the fifty dollars.” So I open my bag and start looking at shit I could throw out. Hmmm…I don’t need these plain white t-shirts. I’ll get rid of these golf balls. I check the wait, fifty-eight pounds. Four more pounds to go. Okay, what else could I throw away…I ‘ll get rid of my work pants and shorts. Let’s see, fifty-six pounds. I go back into my pack and take out my deflated basketball. Fifty-four pounds I made it. I look at the guy and ask, “So what do you want me to do with this shit”? He looks at me weird “You’re not going to put that stuff in your backpack.” “I wasn’t planning to. Is there a trash can I put this crap in,” I said. The expression on his face was priceless, I don’t think he was expecting me to throw my stuff in the garbage. Frankly I could give a shit, I’ve been stuck on a ship for the past six months, I just wanted to go home.

After that whole ordeal, I finally made my way back into the airport and through the security checkpoint. Beep, beep, beep. “Sir can you please go back.” I go back through the metal detector and take my belt off and the loose change from my pocket. As I’m about the walk through again the guy tells me to take off my windbreaker. At this point I’m thinking to myself why didn’t he tell me to take my jacket off the first time. I didn’t want to argue so I did as I was told. This time, no beeping.

What could possible happen to me next I thought? I find the gate and head over to a small cafe to kill the time. Five hours later I look over at my gateway, it’s completely empty. What the hell? I check the computers and notice that my gate has been changed. No big deal, the new gate was just a short walk away. I go to the front counter to check-in and find out that my flight is still in Houston and was delayed two-hours which meant I would miss my connecting flight to San Diego. The lady tells me that they would provide a hotel room for me at the airlines expense. I don’t care, I just want to go home. I’ve been in the airport now for six hours and I was tired.

The plane finally arrives and we make it to Houston. I tell the lady at the counter I would need a hotel room because I missed my connecting flight. She hands me this voucher for a discount at a hotel and tells me to call this number. You’re kidding me. I was not going to pay for my hotel room. I told her the lady in Ft. Lauderdale said that the airline would cover the hotel since there was a maintenance problem with the plane. And then her partner right next to her tells me according to his computer the plane was late because of bad weather in Newark. Luckily I wasn’t the only person that would have to stay in a hotel. The other people put up a fight and the guy finally admitted that the computer had given them wrong information and that it was indeed late because of mechanical issues. Fortunately after that incident everything went smoothly and twenty-four hours later, I was finally home.

GOOOOOOD BYYYEEE CARNIVAL FREEDOM!!!! Yes, it’s time for me to say good bye. I’m history, I’m done, I got the lucky ticket out of here. Kaput, I finished, my last blog aboard the Carnival Freedom and this one has been brought to you by all the fat cats at Carnival Corporation who put life back into the word FUN. Don’t cry, I’ll be alright. I’m off to new adventures. For the people who’ve read and commented on my blog, thank you. Don’t worry there will be more entries to come. To all the Romanians in the AV Department who taught me the value of doing things by the book and for almost driving me to brink of madness…thank you. To all the Filipinos and Indonesians who bust their ass day on out for peanuts and always have a smile on their face, keep up the good work. To my American piezanos and my friendly Canadian neighbors thanks for keeping me sane. To all the Indians on board…lighten up at the security checkpoint I’m sure no one has secret evil plans hidden in their notebooks and yes those pills in that bottle is called Tylenol. You take it for when you have a headache. And to all the guest. It’s not nice to complain to try to get free comps. We work everyday seven days a week to provide you guys the best experience possible. Well that’s it. Back home to reality. This dream has finally ended and its time for me to wake up once again and to begin a new day. Only this time the words FUN FUN FUN will echo in my mind reminding me of a dream I once had. With that said thank you to everyone I’ve met for making this a unique and special experience. Ciao.

As I settle into the last two weeks of my contract I feel as if I have become more disoriented. At the beginning of my contract I was filled with excitement. I set out for a goal and I obtained it. I thought I had everything going for me. A chance to see the world and meet new people. The opportunity to finally pay off all the debt from the film I made. The chance to save money. And fortunately for me, all of those things did happen. But at the same time my spirit has charted into unknown waters.

Soon I will be home. And I’m scared to say, I do not know what I will do next. When I look back at the past, I’ve learned that whenever I’m at a point of struggle in my life, that’s when I accomplish the most. The pain of struggle is a strong motivator for me. However working on a ship, struggle is kept to a minimum. All of your necessities are taken care. You’re fed everyday. You have a place to sleep. You have someone who cleans your room. How could anyone complain of such a lifestyle. Unfortunately boredom kicks in which leads to people craving any type of stimulation they can get their hands on.

How do people cope with ship life? Some people hit the bars day on out. Some people lock themselves up in their rooms and watch movies till they pass out. Sadly to say, that was a popular one on this ship. Others dance away their stresses at the disco. A handful of people go to the gym to kill the time. While other people are constantly on the look out to see who they can hook up with next. Don’t let me forget to mention the smokers on the ship who are in wide abundance.

Talk about getting sidetracked with ship life. Any goals you planned on accomplishing during your contract eventually disappears. Slowly you become sedated and after a few months people come to accept the lifestyle for what it is. I’m not here to criticize anyone or persuade people that ship life is not as luxurious as it sounds. There are many people love this kind of life.

As for me I take it as a privilege to have taken part of this lifestyle. Who knows I might even do one or two more contracts down the road depending on my situation. Now what does all this nonsense have to do with “Life After Film School,” which after all is the main focus of this blog? As a writer and as a filmmaker its important to be aware of these insights into the human condition and to share them with the rest of the world. What do you guys think?

In a few more hours almost everyone I know on this ship will depart. Friends come and go on cruise ships like passing clouds in the sky. You meet people exchange contact information but in reality the odds of ever seeing that person again is very slim. The more likely scenario they become another friend on your facebook profile. And maybe on days when you’re at home feeling alone or bored surfing the internet you’ll see what they’ve been up to with their lives and reflect upon the past.

The closer I get to leaving, I feel myself becoming more detached. I’m excited to be going home soon, but at the same time I can’t help but feel a certain degree of sadness. I will miss the people I’ve gotten to know. I will miss the craziness of a particular South African girl who did an adequate job messing with my head. If she’s reading this blog I’m sure she knows what I’m talking about. Shame on you.

I decided to work on a cruise ship with the idea that I could live a lifestyle just like Ernest Hemingway only to be disappointed when that wasn’t the case. No regrets. But hey at least I put myself out there. Sometimes I go to bed and think to myself how the hell did I wind up here. And then I fall asleep and realize how lucky I am to be a participant in this crazy game called LIFE.

After almost five months out on sea my time living on board a cruise ship comes closer to an end. Well what to say? For one, the life’s not as luxurious as it sounds but it beats grinding out a typical nine to five job. Almost everyone works seven days a week without a day off except for maybe the entertainers. Fortunately I was lucky to be able to go off and film different tours week on out. On one tour I ventured off on a Catamaran from Antigua in what had to be best experiences of my life. The blistering crystal blue water with small secluded islands relaxed me and left a smile on my face as we sailed through the Atlantic Ocean. Out of the places I’ve been in the Caribbean, the islands just off of Antigua was the closest thing to true paradise. With that said, I can hardly wait to come to home. Even though I had a good experience traveling and seeing the Caribbean I find myself losing focus of the big picture. How much longer will I do this? I’m not sure yet.